Warts and all

The other day I was walking behind a couple and their German Shepard. This dog was young-ish and a bit… exuberant… on the lead, and was not sitting as they stopped for a stop light.  The woman who was with the dog snapped, she had had enough: “Why do you always make everything about YOU?!” she yelled at the dog in full view of everyone walking down the street. 

Initially I was embarrassed for her to react like that in public with her animal.

And then I remembered - I have been this woman. It’s certainly not something I am proud of, and thankfully I have been graced with non-judgmental people to help me work through the issues that caused this behavior.

You see, I once had a dog who was extremely anxious and needy. Due to her anxiety I could not leave home without her due to the extreme distress it caused her - non stop barking and whining, pooping on the floor - that level of anxiety. Her anxiety wore on me, day after day; week after week; month after month, year after year; dealing with her inability to be alone in the home, taking her with me everywhere I went. A friend once remarked that she was like a co-dependent boyfriend “DON’T LEAVE ME!”

I never yelled at her in public, but I sure did lash out when we were at home. I felt trapped, I cared for her and wanted the best for her, but I was also overwhelmed with having her with me in the car,  always searching for a parking place in the shade or finding a pet sitter for her when I had a weekend workshop. I didn’t go to a movie for 10 years because I didn’t want to leave her in the car that long.

It was utterly exhausting.

Seeing this woman act out with her dog reminded me how far I had come. I worked with a therapist, healed my early trauma and most importantly learned about animals, trauma, and effective ways to treat it using animal communication and EFT or “tapping”.

The trauma healing I have witnessed is astonishing quite frankly. Animals and people have had their lives fundamentally changed.

Because of my issues with trauma (both my own and my animal's) and the healing of it, I am blessed to be able to listen to and work with people in a judgement-free way. I’ve been the person who was stressed to the breaking point with my animal and lashed out because if it. I can’t pass judgment on people for this behavior because I’ve been there - it’s part of my shadow work.